Tonight I went out with JV. The evening was set up last week when I asked, via text, to hang out on Wednesday or Friday. At first the answer/reaction I got was that she was probably available on Wednesday but would have to let me know but was unavailable Friday as she would be in New Jersey. She confirmed this past weekend when discussing that we were on the same fall league team. She asked if we wanted to grab drinks after that game in lieu of Wednesday. I told her I would prefer to meet tonight – wednesday. I did this because I wanted the night to be one-on-one and not after we were both all sweaty and tired. She agreed and it was set up.
We went to the Coliseum in Camp Hill. I was the person to suggest the place after she asked where we were going. I chose that because (1) I was familiar with the location and therefore able to control one of the variables. I was able to rationalize it as one of the best places because it was relatively close to her house so seh didnt’ have to drive far.
We met at 9pm. She was a few minutes late. I was 10 minutes early. I spent the last few minutes being nervous but alleviating those nerves by distracting my mind by reading the news. It helped because i actually read an article which later allowed me to generate a conversation.
JV looked to be a bit more dressed up than normal. I would later find out that she went for a workout with the Messiah Womens frisbee team before going home to shower and get ready. it looked as if she made some effort to make it “date-ish”.
Despite that, though, it was clear that it wasn’t a date. The conversation was free-flowing and easy. We talked about subjects related to her work, her recent training, our frisbee team, this past year on the frisbee team, the potential for next year’s frisbee team, me leaving regionals, her thoughts on her growth as a frisbee team.
At one poitn I changed the subject away from frisbee and asked what fictional characters she was most like. She said partially jess from new girl, and she wishes alisha keys. I told her I was nick from new girl, ted from HIMYM, and Gus from Psych.
I told her that I had broken up with Kristen. That wasn’t true yet — although I anticpate doing so. I am not excited about that relationship and am excited about the potential with JV. Ultimately however thsi isn’t much potential. We discussed what she though about why I was spendign time with her. She knows I like her and basically explaiend hwo she expected as much. She made clear she saw me as a friend only. She told me she didn’t want to lead me on and was worried that by going out with me i would think she liked me. She said she though I was “playing the long game” to try and convince her to like me over time. She referenced our earlier drinks where I voiced my concern with “manipulating people.”
I told her that while I found her intriguing, I wasn’t per se trying to date her. I did tell her I was potentially interested but primarily just trying to get to know her and see where that was going. I believe I am/was being honest about that.
Over the course of the conversation, I asked whether JV was ever “intrigued” by me. She indicated she had thoguth abotu it. SHe listed some good and bad factors. Good: I surprise her; I’m not always what she expects; I’m easy to talk to; We always have fun together. Bad: Her gut feelign is that it won’t work out; she doesn’t think we’ll date; she wishes I were taller; my age is an issue; She was concerned that I’m no religious enough; There was somethign else she couldn’t wouldn’t say. I told her that she should take the time to get to know me because I would surprise her more.
Its clear there is still an opportunity… but she doesn’t want to necessarily take that opportunity. Best course of action: Do nothing; make no special effort; let it marinade and see if she comes back and shows interest.
The night ended with a hug… there was a little bit of a pause where more of an openign existed but based upon previous conversation I let it go.
I liked the evening — despite her clear expression of non-current-interest. Maybe she will realize that I am somethign she would like. Maybe nto. At this point though, I should just continue to date and get to know a lot of people.
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